i can see how some women can lose their sense of self after having children... all the sudden you become a diaper changing milk machine. i happen to be a very happy and proud diaper changing milk machine! some days are easier than others, but here are some ways that i have managed to stay sane and hold on to "me" during these first few weeks with a newborn:
1. take a shower, put on my makeup, and blow dry my hair every day.
when i was really young, i had a babysitter teach me all kinds of little life lessons that for some reason really influenced me... i still think of her and follow her little bits of advice, like 20 years later. one thing she taught me was to always try to look pretty for your husband when he gets home from work! and one day a week, at least, get really dolled up for him. i take this really seriously. who wants to come home from a long day at work to a haggard wife and crying baby? not only does this help our marriage, it helps me out personally. "putting my face on" every day keeps me feeling positive and ready to tackle the day. so, every day, i get the baby to sleep, and take a nice hot shower. this is my "special time." sometimes she sleeps through until i'm finished, sometimes not. if she wakes up, i just let her cry a little while i finish, because i know she will survive the next 10 minutes without me. :)
2. keep things tidy.
in my life before vada, i always made sure to do a few things every day to help keep things tidy and flowing smoothly in the house. i still do these things every day because they make me feel good: make the bed, sort the mail, and always keep the kitchen clean. making the bed is crucial now; the time i spend sleeping in it is so limited and precious, i want it to be as wonderful as possible by the time i make it there. sorting the mail cuts down on clutter times a million, and helps keep the bills paid on time. i try to wash the dishes as soon as we are finished with them. they are easier to clean that way, less disgusting, and i am much happier to do them if they aren't piled up to the ceiling. this took a lot of training because i hated doing dishes before. now i've tricked myself into believing it's fun. i also try to stay on top of the laundry as much as possible. i do a load at least every three days. just like the dishes, the smaller the loads are, the more likely i am to finish the job. (except i love doing laundry... don't know why :) )
3. go outside as much as possible
when it's not too hot, i sit outside on the front porch with vada, just to enjoy the scenery and fresh air. i water the flowers every day that it doesn't rain. greg and i go on a walk through the neighborhood almost every evening with vada. it's such a nice way to wind down the day, enjoy each other's company, and get a little exercise. and i think vada likes it too :)
4. do nice things for greg
making greg happy makes me really happy. with a newborn to feed and change (constantly) there are a limited number of hours in which to get things done. (i'm supposed to be "sleeping while she sleeps" but i hate naps, ugh.) i still try to take a second to do something nice for him every day. send him a nice email, a picture of vada, give him a call, rub his back at night, make him some iced tea and refill his glass... just something small to let him know that i love him and appreciate him.
5. try to stay in touch with the outside world as much as possible
this has been really hard because i wasn't allowed to drive for the first two weeks, and vada isn't supposed to be taken out in public places for two more... makes you feel a little stir-crazy some days. luckily, one of my best friends has a 7 week old baby, so we have each other to lean on and hang out with. just spending a few hours on the couch together watching tv and talking breaks up the day, and makes staying at home with a newborn a little less lonely (yes, it gets lonely sometimes.) our crying babies don't annoy each other, and we don't worry about nursing them in front of each other. my iphone is also a life saver. there is an app for google reader so i can stay on top of all the blogs i follow. (which is really awesome at like 3 or 4 am... keeps me awake!) i can look stuff up on the internet, check facebook, use twitter, check my email, text message... all with one hand while i'm nursing the baby. this will be easier in the coming weeks, once i'm allowed to tote her around with me wherever i go. little adventures!
so, that's what i do. pretty basic day-to-day stuff, but it's funny how easily these "basic" things can be lost or forgotten when baby comes.
any other advice from moms out there?
i love this little snoozer <3
